Went from taking care of 2 patients to only one. He was restless at first but has eventually fallen asleep. He had a severe stroke. I would like to say its effected his speech to the point that I cant understand him however Im certain that if he hadnt had a stroke I still wouldnt have understood him.
He seems to have an accent of eastern european origins. From what the nurse told me he was particularly dirty when he first came in. She described his nails as being like 'knives'. Also apparently the night before he pulled out his catheter which sprayed everywhere. Glad I missed out on that one.
My brother has come to visit and has seemed to take a liking to this gentleman. Having heard his last name he asked "Oh, are you from the Czech republic?". The patient scoffed "NO! Why did you think that?" in a disgusted manner. My brother sputtered "Theres a midfielder on the national team with the same name, I just thought..."
It would seem the old boy was an architect at one point that had designed one of our fair cities universities. Ironically it was a womans university. Whats ironic about that little tidbit is the fact that he quite sexist. Mostly hes a helpless filthy (as in laden in dirt) man who likes to lash out at woman who laugh at him only furthering his rage. Surprisingly I have escaped this. Not sure if its my youth that scares him or the fact that im simply pleasant to him. Regardless, hes not tugging on his catheter so im pretty content with that alone.
Later that evening after he fell asleep i overheard one nurse talk to another about how she had been sitting at her desk late at night when she saw someone walk past the desk from the corner of her eye. She quickly turned her head but noone was there. Not two seconds later did another nurse rush over to the desk to report that a patient in a room not far away had died. Perhaps shes been dipping into the dilaudid?
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Holy Holy
My patient today was transferred from the infirmary to VG. I arrived slightly late (about 20 mins, terrible, I know) so the guy previous to me had already left. Much to my delight I had a Nun. Its always nice to get someone completely out of the ordinary. Mostly it allows one to compile a list of questions that will help pass the 12 hours (or 11 hours and 55 minutes in this case). More often than not these questions go relatively unheard but the activity of compiling + the task of asking generally is quite amusing and worthwhile.
Like the majority of older people she was suffering from some sort of dementia. She really was a small bundle of joy. Guessing her age, one would have to say in her mid to late 80s and smelt of lilacs. She was unbelievably elated when I told her we were going to have a sleep over. It makes you wonder if she had sleep overs back in the day as I really didnt think they were common for our grandparents generation. Most likely she came from a large east coast catholic family (send one to the army, one to the church and one to civil services or something like that).
Its always mindboggling that these people that basically lived subsistence lives would bang out 9 or 10 kids. Its always suggested that it allows for parents to have help in the fields etc but to be frank I suspect is a result of a) a lack of heat, b) a lack of condoms and c) a lack of tv.
I really imagine trying it on in a dark coal shed like house packed with 7 kids, pregnant with another. Then again I have been spoiled with the benefits of modern technology.
We passed a great deal of time in silence, holding hands, with her whispering to me "Godbless".
Definitely one of those shifts that makes you contemplate going back to church but the fact of the matter is you can live your life without the religious structure doing the same amount of good. Abide by the golden rule (or whatever its called elsewhere) and youre generally ok. It does also make you wonder how the church provides for their own flock if im coming in to do something their own people could do. Was this a particularly short term situation? Do they even have retirement homes for clergy? Do Clergy even retire?
Like the majority of older people she was suffering from some sort of dementia. She really was a small bundle of joy. Guessing her age, one would have to say in her mid to late 80s and smelt of lilacs. She was unbelievably elated when I told her we were going to have a sleep over. It makes you wonder if she had sleep overs back in the day as I really didnt think they were common for our grandparents generation. Most likely she came from a large east coast catholic family (send one to the army, one to the church and one to civil services or something like that).
Its always mindboggling that these people that basically lived subsistence lives would bang out 9 or 10 kids. Its always suggested that it allows for parents to have help in the fields etc but to be frank I suspect is a result of a) a lack of heat, b) a lack of condoms and c) a lack of tv.
I really imagine trying it on in a dark coal shed like house packed with 7 kids, pregnant with another. Then again I have been spoiled with the benefits of modern technology.
We passed a great deal of time in silence, holding hands, with her whispering to me "Godbless".
Definitely one of those shifts that makes you contemplate going back to church but the fact of the matter is you can live your life without the religious structure doing the same amount of good. Abide by the golden rule (or whatever its called elsewhere) and youre generally ok. It does also make you wonder how the church provides for their own flock if im coming in to do something their own people could do. Was this a particularly short term situation? Do they even have retirement homes for clergy? Do Clergy even retire?
Friday, January 23, 2009
Day 1
Almost lost keys in the psych ward. They would have had to get all new locks.
Me=Fired.
I called into Johanna and tell her about my bloody scare. Perhaps its a good idea to let the nurses know that it might not be such a good idea to give us attendents such important objects.
Psych ward is a complicated place. Its both uplifting (knowing first and foremost my feet are planted on the ground and i believe im completely sane) and depressing (these poor bastards).
Alot of todays shift went off like an afterschool special. The first nurse i talked to introduced herself by telling me about a kid who lost touch with reality because he smoked so much pot. Then proceeded to tell me about a guy who did a hit of e and went crazy. Good stuff. Thanks Nancy Regan. You really know how to speak to the youts.
Theres always jokes about the extremities of mental illness of any sorts. Jokes about dudes that wear tinfoil hats or believe the walls are talking to them. The boggles and reels when you are finally introduced to these same people. It breaks your heart knowing very well these people believe in earnest that what they tell you is their reality. The patient i had was quite sedate as she had a form of organic alzheimers. Apparently she had no understand of my presence. I wonder how far that extends. Does she only acknowledge certain people? How does one get her to acknowledge you? How long does this acknowledgement last? I failed to find the difference between organic alzheimers and regular alzheimers, so im no more knowledgeable than before outside of the first hand experience.
Through out the night i was introduced to a host of characters. The majority in their middle age. I did meet several boys in my own age. One of which told the nurse, heartbreakingly, that 'he just wanted to talk to me', another who talked to the magnets in his hands. The most crippling thought to me about these people is that they will never know the joys of carrying on with a regular life. They will never know a 9-5 existence filled with an 8 hour workday, children needing food then school then food then attention then sleep. They will never be able to focus on loving another person because they are too trapped in their own lost little world. More often than not these worlds are filled with fear and panic. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Nonstop.
Me=Fired.
I called into Johanna and tell her about my bloody scare. Perhaps its a good idea to let the nurses know that it might not be such a good idea to give us attendents such important objects.
Psych ward is a complicated place. Its both uplifting (knowing first and foremost my feet are planted on the ground and i believe im completely sane) and depressing (these poor bastards).
Alot of todays shift went off like an afterschool special. The first nurse i talked to introduced herself by telling me about a kid who lost touch with reality because he smoked so much pot. Then proceeded to tell me about a guy who did a hit of e and went crazy. Good stuff. Thanks Nancy Regan. You really know how to speak to the youts.
Theres always jokes about the extremities of mental illness of any sorts. Jokes about dudes that wear tinfoil hats or believe the walls are talking to them. The boggles and reels when you are finally introduced to these same people. It breaks your heart knowing very well these people believe in earnest that what they tell you is their reality. The patient i had was quite sedate as she had a form of organic alzheimers. Apparently she had no understand of my presence. I wonder how far that extends. Does she only acknowledge certain people? How does one get her to acknowledge you? How long does this acknowledgement last? I failed to find the difference between organic alzheimers and regular alzheimers, so im no more knowledgeable than before outside of the first hand experience.
Through out the night i was introduced to a host of characters. The majority in their middle age. I did meet several boys in my own age. One of which told the nurse, heartbreakingly, that 'he just wanted to talk to me', another who talked to the magnets in his hands. The most crippling thought to me about these people is that they will never know the joys of carrying on with a regular life. They will never know a 9-5 existence filled with an 8 hour workday, children needing food then school then food then attention then sleep. They will never be able to focus on loving another person because they are too trapped in their own lost little world. More often than not these worlds are filled with fear and panic. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Nonstop.
Codes: A second beginning
DNR= Do not resuscitate = No Code
Full Code = Do everything
MRSA- Virus cant get rid of. Complications.
C-Diff - Jelly Explosive shit w/ sour smell
-Dont write name of person on any sheets
-Get name of the nurse
-I should know all the info from nurse within first hr. of my arrival, anything out of the ordinary happens call work
-always assume injury? Missing articles?
Upon Arrival
1- Go to security
2- Show ID badge + SIgn in.
If @ rehab, sign in @vg, @vg they'll give you another card which GOTTA GO BACK @ VG!
Full Code = Do everything
MRSA- Virus cant get rid of. Complications.
C-Diff - Jelly Explosive shit w/ sour smell
-Dont write name of person on any sheets
-Get name of the nurse
-I should know all the info from nurse within first hr. of my arrival, anything out of the ordinary happens call work
-always assume injury? Missing articles?
Upon Arrival
1- Go to security
2- Show ID badge + SIgn in.
If @ rehab, sign in @vg, @vg they'll give you another card which GOTTA GO BACK @ VG!
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Suicide Watch
Just realized that the one thing i promised along time ago and never posted was the shift i spent watching a gentleman on suicide watch. I was thinking about how I never wrote down the actual shift as I usually do and it didnt take long to realize that although this gentleman was in complete mental anguish, he was the most 'sensible' and lucid of all the patients I had had.
More often then not these patients would live a sort of fantasy existence only in the sense that no matter where they were in their own minds, here on planet earth they would be physically looked after. In the case of this gentleman, he had most everything a person could ask for, with exception to clinical depression and suicidal tendencies.
He was a doctor who looked to be in his mid to late 30s who had confessed that he had a wife and a small baby (who had been just born). The poor gentlemans situation was a travesty. Not to downplay the others but rarely did they recognize their own situations where as in the case of the doctor, he knew exactly what the problem was and as a result it would often perpetuate itself. He would feel bad for feeling bad. You dig?
He had worked in the Emergency room for the last few years and that had added to the strain. It was difficult to ask him questions only in the fact that I felt so fucking bad for him and didnt want to set off any incidents in which he would harm himself or dwell on something that I had said then injuring himself. Not that it was expected that he'd try and do himself in front of me but that you didnt want to leave any lingering thoughts (something which we have no power and no control over when it comes to interacting with people such as this).
He was quite open and honest, possibly even cheerful (with an overpowering sense of melancholy, hows that possible right? it is easy up narc). We talked about all manners, nothing at this moment strikes me in particular outside of his family and work life. Granted i didnt prod and asked the usual sorts of questions you would ask any stranger you were spending a large amount of time with.
When we were instructed about taking care of patients on suicide watch we are told to keep any objects that might harm them (like razors, scissors etc) from their reach, we may never let them leave our line of sight (ie if they go to the bathroom, its with the door open). Some of these guide lines were particularly difficult to abide by because he was so lucid and normal. I did for instance allow him to go to the bathroom with the door left only slightly ajar, however i couldnt help but notice the plastic shave razor by his sink and kept thinking about me having to frantically call security or whoever to come to his room because he had attempted to slit his wrists. That never happened thank god. He did try to jump from his window on the 4th or 5th floor tho several days later.
More often then not these patients would live a sort of fantasy existence only in the sense that no matter where they were in their own minds, here on planet earth they would be physically looked after. In the case of this gentleman, he had most everything a person could ask for, with exception to clinical depression and suicidal tendencies.
He was a doctor who looked to be in his mid to late 30s who had confessed that he had a wife and a small baby (who had been just born). The poor gentlemans situation was a travesty. Not to downplay the others but rarely did they recognize their own situations where as in the case of the doctor, he knew exactly what the problem was and as a result it would often perpetuate itself. He would feel bad for feeling bad. You dig?
He had worked in the Emergency room for the last few years and that had added to the strain. It was difficult to ask him questions only in the fact that I felt so fucking bad for him and didnt want to set off any incidents in which he would harm himself or dwell on something that I had said then injuring himself. Not that it was expected that he'd try and do himself in front of me but that you didnt want to leave any lingering thoughts (something which we have no power and no control over when it comes to interacting with people such as this).
He was quite open and honest, possibly even cheerful (with an overpowering sense of melancholy, hows that possible right? it is easy up narc). We talked about all manners, nothing at this moment strikes me in particular outside of his family and work life. Granted i didnt prod and asked the usual sorts of questions you would ask any stranger you were spending a large amount of time with.
When we were instructed about taking care of patients on suicide watch we are told to keep any objects that might harm them (like razors, scissors etc) from their reach, we may never let them leave our line of sight (ie if they go to the bathroom, its with the door open). Some of these guide lines were particularly difficult to abide by because he was so lucid and normal. I did for instance allow him to go to the bathroom with the door left only slightly ajar, however i couldnt help but notice the plastic shave razor by his sink and kept thinking about me having to frantically call security or whoever to come to his room because he had attempted to slit his wrists. That never happened thank god. He did try to jump from his window on the 4th or 5th floor tho several days later.
Apologies/The Aged Flesh
for not writing in so long. Few readers know im now located in South Korea for the next year. Ill be doing some writing, possibly posting it in another blog or something on a future date. Im just about finished my book with all my own experiences in the hospitals however as mentioned previously my sister gave me hers, so i will continue to write drawing from her experiences. I do intend on continuing to write in my smut blog as well however I have to wait for a conversion plug (they use the european/asian two prong plugs here AND they dont have the conversion ones we can find at fucking radioshack here so ive been forced to use a coworkers who lends it to me from time to time as she needs it for her hairdryer. I expect to be back up and running in the next week or so. Also Korean girls show alot of leg. I like it. Ive developed a new fetish as a result. That should give me ample fodder for smut). Back to the topic at hand, hospitals.
The aged flesh is a tender and brittle thing.
Unfortunately today I had to witness a patient be told that his leg was going to be amputated. He then started crying and mumbling something. The doctor asked him to repeat himself and he said "I wish I was dead". Its an obvious fact of life that the human body begins to deteriorate. For instance as we age the skin becomes increasing translucent and brittle. It goes from young, firm and supple to dry, cracked and limited. Of course there is always the potential with debilitating and weakening diseases like aids that delay and/or deny the body of its regenerative capabilities (such as lesions that do not heal). But for the most part it is a process that approaches us in the autumn and winters of our lives.
It makes me wonder if taking care of oneself merely delays the inevitable, deludes us into the belief of relative immortality/invincibility through vanity. There was alot of y's used in that last sentence.
I have stared death in the face, hes falling apart piece by piece.
The other death I saw wears a canadian flag bandana and a mesh wife beater. He also has a goatee and a ponytail.
The aged flesh is a tender and brittle thing.
Unfortunately today I had to witness a patient be told that his leg was going to be amputated. He then started crying and mumbling something. The doctor asked him to repeat himself and he said "I wish I was dead". Its an obvious fact of life that the human body begins to deteriorate. For instance as we age the skin becomes increasing translucent and brittle. It goes from young, firm and supple to dry, cracked and limited. Of course there is always the potential with debilitating and weakening diseases like aids that delay and/or deny the body of its regenerative capabilities (such as lesions that do not heal). But for the most part it is a process that approaches us in the autumn and winters of our lives.
It makes me wonder if taking care of oneself merely delays the inevitable, deludes us into the belief of relative immortality/invincibility through vanity. There was alot of y's used in that last sentence.
I have stared death in the face, hes falling apart piece by piece.
The other death I saw wears a canadian flag bandana and a mesh wife beater. He also has a goatee and a ponytail.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Smut
So for a long time now ive been writing smut.
As a result ive decided to create a smut blog as well.
Here it is.
Named it after that Lil Louis Vega song.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
As a result ive decided to create a smut blog as well.
Here it is.
Named it after that Lil Louis Vega song.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Friday, November 28, 2008
In the Grandeur scheme of things
As per usual im waiting in the solarium for the family to let me know that i can return to the patients room. Todays events revolve more around the waiting room then they do my assigned patient. For the second day in a row i have been in conversation with an older fellow who loves to talk and particularly tell me stories.
I come from a long line of 'yarnspinners' so its far from unusual for me to be listening to a story that is laced with 'myths'. Initially i believe the majority of this mans stories were true. However there was increasing doubt as these stories contained more and more celebrities of yore. Dropping names such as W.A. Winfield (owned Bell?) and Mrs Oland (a beer magnate).
The stories vary from his rumrunning parents and him poaching lobsters with the local prison boss to having a personal phone line installed across an entire city for him alone.
There are several possibilities as to why this is happening as far as im concerned.
1) All old nova scotia men love to lie
This is a distinct possibility, however there are great details in the stories and the answers to any questions are given in a matter of fact/logical manner.
This leads me to believe
2)He is suffering from dementia or delusions of grandeur.
The former is doubtful as i have already been in the company of confused people and usually the signs are pretty obvious. As for the latter, i have to admit i didnt even know it was a real disease for the longest time. When i did find out it was through parents who confessed to me that their son was suffering from it after I had made a joke about it.
Having spoken with this man a third time i have come to the conclusion that he is a pathological liar. All these stories are fucking insane. The casts vary from gangsters to astronauts, as do the situations whether they involve legal loopholes or simple business transactions.
I feel like a moron for not having spotted it sooner.
Why was he feeding his brothers and sisters if his parents were rumrunners?
Like he really had personal correspondance with Trudeau!!!!
I come from a long line of 'yarnspinners' so its far from unusual for me to be listening to a story that is laced with 'myths'. Initially i believe the majority of this mans stories were true. However there was increasing doubt as these stories contained more and more celebrities of yore. Dropping names such as W.A. Winfield (owned Bell?) and Mrs Oland (a beer magnate).
The stories vary from his rumrunning parents and him poaching lobsters with the local prison boss to having a personal phone line installed across an entire city for him alone.
There are several possibilities as to why this is happening as far as im concerned.
1) All old nova scotia men love to lie
This is a distinct possibility, however there are great details in the stories and the answers to any questions are given in a matter of fact/logical manner.
This leads me to believe
2)He is suffering from dementia or delusions of grandeur.
The former is doubtful as i have already been in the company of confused people and usually the signs are pretty obvious. As for the latter, i have to admit i didnt even know it was a real disease for the longest time. When i did find out it was through parents who confessed to me that their son was suffering from it after I had made a joke about it.
Having spoken with this man a third time i have come to the conclusion that he is a pathological liar. All these stories are fucking insane. The casts vary from gangsters to astronauts, as do the situations whether they involve legal loopholes or simple business transactions.
I feel like a moron for not having spotted it sooner.
Why was he feeding his brothers and sisters if his parents were rumrunners?
Like he really had personal correspondance with Trudeau!!!!
A face for radio
An Ex girlfriend (or girlfriend at the time) would play a game where she would act semiretarded and allow for her legs to give out so that I would have to rush to keep her from falling flat on her face.
My patient tonight had similar traits, except she was a bit more frantic, much like a meth junkie.
She kissed me several times, the patient that is, on the forehead calling me 'Dad' when i tucked her in. She is a young mother of a 12 year old who was in a head on collision with an 18 wheeler. After she fell asleep (thankfully!) I helped grade people on "Hot or Not" with the Nurses. It seemed that noone deserved more than a 3.
And now, a small excerpt from our discussion:
Nurse 1: Shes got big breasts! (pointing at the screen)
Me: I dont care how big her breasts are with a face like that (oh how times have changed)
Nurse 2 (with a thick newfie accent): Just put a bag over her head...
SeeqPod - Playable Search
My patient tonight had similar traits, except she was a bit more frantic, much like a meth junkie.
She kissed me several times, the patient that is, on the forehead calling me 'Dad' when i tucked her in. She is a young mother of a 12 year old who was in a head on collision with an 18 wheeler. After she fell asleep (thankfully!) I helped grade people on "Hot or Not" with the Nurses. It seemed that noone deserved more than a 3.
And now, a small excerpt from our discussion:
Nurse 1: Shes got big breasts! (pointing at the screen)
Me: I dont care how big her breasts are with a face like that (oh how times have changed)
Nurse 2 (with a thick newfie accent): Just put a bag over her head...
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Amputations galore
Id like to apologize for not posting in about a month.
Ive been busy with other things (like living, eating, masturbating).
This is not to mention that my notebook and its notes are coming to an end.
I still have my sisters but im not entirely sure (having not looked at it) whether i am capable of transcribing her notes into a story. It may be worth an attempt.
Im also tempted to start posting smut.
Im not kidding.
I just found some pages of a short story (or what looks to be a penthouse forum letter) i wrote a while back for another blog i never told anyone about. For good reasons. Regardless. Ill see what happens once this blog finishes and where my headspace is at.
Well, i saw my first amputation today.
I should specify that i didnt actually see it performed.
What i saw was the base of the leg with no foot on one leg and a foot with no toes on the other.
These two limbs had staples to heal them from getting infected. That shit never ceases to look medieval or like something out of 'The Great Big Civil War Book of Surgery".
Youd think this day in age we'd have finesse when sowing up these people.
No. Apparently a fucking staple gun will do.
Does this mean any idiot with a staple gun can be a doctor?
No. You need one of those masks as well.
Having indured such a painful surgery she was high as David Lee Roth on a saturday night in 1982 when i was first introduced to her. Initially, She seemed ok, however after her nap things went a little pear shaped.
She kept insisting that people "play through".
This of course was while she kept trying to put on pants (she had on a catheter) and 'finishing the tournament'. The lovely dear asked several times that someone could pick up her ball, which was located in her calender across from her bed. Damn what a sportsman. Lets see that Tiger Woods try something like that. Ffft. What a pussy.
I should say that in hindsight, i initially had no clue what sport the patient was talking about at the time. However, now that im older and wiser, i can safely say she was playing golf. Not water polo as some would have you believe.
Ive been busy with other things (like living, eating, masturbating).
This is not to mention that my notebook and its notes are coming to an end.
I still have my sisters but im not entirely sure (having not looked at it) whether i am capable of transcribing her notes into a story. It may be worth an attempt.
Im also tempted to start posting smut.
Im not kidding.
I just found some pages of a short story (or what looks to be a penthouse forum letter) i wrote a while back for another blog i never told anyone about. For good reasons. Regardless. Ill see what happens once this blog finishes and where my headspace is at.
Well, i saw my first amputation today.
I should specify that i didnt actually see it performed.
What i saw was the base of the leg with no foot on one leg and a foot with no toes on the other.
These two limbs had staples to heal them from getting infected. That shit never ceases to look medieval or like something out of 'The Great Big Civil War Book of Surgery".
Youd think this day in age we'd have finesse when sowing up these people.
No. Apparently a fucking staple gun will do.
Does this mean any idiot with a staple gun can be a doctor?
No. You need one of those masks as well.
Having indured such a painful surgery she was high as David Lee Roth on a saturday night in 1982 when i was first introduced to her. Initially, She seemed ok, however after her nap things went a little pear shaped.
She kept insisting that people "play through".
This of course was while she kept trying to put on pants (she had on a catheter) and 'finishing the tournament'. The lovely dear asked several times that someone could pick up her ball, which was located in her calender across from her bed. Damn what a sportsman. Lets see that Tiger Woods try something like that. Ffft. What a pussy.
I should say that in hindsight, i initially had no clue what sport the patient was talking about at the time. However, now that im older and wiser, i can safely say she was playing golf. Not water polo as some would have you believe.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Not terribly demanding/Forget me not
My guy has slept all day.
He spent 4 hours in dialysis, which by the way, is a fucking frightening process to watch. The mere fact that pints of blood are being exchanged from the human to the machine and viceversa. Im not afraid of blood, i am however afraid of people and their stupid/irratic behavior. All it would take is for someone to pull out a tube, just one tube and dude is fucked. It doesnt help that this guy is prone to such behavior.
The day before he threw a chair through a window and spent the rest of the day tied down like a lunatic in arkham asylum.
When we returned his wife spent the entire afternoon with him so i watched tv down the hall with a group of older ladies. Not a terribly stressful day.
Things did get a bit interesting when he spent the last 2 hours of my shift wandering back and forth in his room. Once in a while he would run for the door and i would have to stand in front of it to prevent him from leaving. That part was amusing.
Since that shift was particularly uneventful i will add this second shift that occured most likely that same week.
Have a guy with Alzheimers today. Its sad as fuck. He has the same look in his eyes as my dog had in the last few hours before we had him put down. Sorta like hes lost and sad but has no clue as to why. Dude cant be any older than 57. His wife was a sweetheart. I feel horrible for her as she has to watch the man she loves decay into a vegetable like state. I can only imagine how the children feel, if they have any. They seem young enough that they would have been in and around my age if they existed. Cant imagine what itd be like to see your father, a man usually held in high regard, the breadwinner, man of the house hold become a babbling, diaper wearing, blank slate. There is nothing you can do about it. Nothing. Worse yet, you may fall prey to this and your children and possibly their children will have to endure the same.
He spent most of the day mumbling in a low voice nonsensically. Every once in a while i felt compelled to give him a hug or pat him on the back just to let him know that there was some sort of human contact there for him. We spent a period of time waiting outside a doctors office. I kept my head on his shoulder. I had to redirect his hands away from his catheter as he kept wanting to touch it. Dunno if it helped but it felt necessary to talk to him like he was still a functioning human being.
PS
I had a 15 minute conversation with a nurse who gave me her tips on how she beats constipation.
Gross.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
He spent 4 hours in dialysis, which by the way, is a fucking frightening process to watch. The mere fact that pints of blood are being exchanged from the human to the machine and viceversa. Im not afraid of blood, i am however afraid of people and their stupid/irratic behavior. All it would take is for someone to pull out a tube, just one tube and dude is fucked. It doesnt help that this guy is prone to such behavior.
The day before he threw a chair through a window and spent the rest of the day tied down like a lunatic in arkham asylum.
When we returned his wife spent the entire afternoon with him so i watched tv down the hall with a group of older ladies. Not a terribly stressful day.
Things did get a bit interesting when he spent the last 2 hours of my shift wandering back and forth in his room. Once in a while he would run for the door and i would have to stand in front of it to prevent him from leaving. That part was amusing.
Since that shift was particularly uneventful i will add this second shift that occured most likely that same week.
Have a guy with Alzheimers today. Its sad as fuck. He has the same look in his eyes as my dog had in the last few hours before we had him put down. Sorta like hes lost and sad but has no clue as to why. Dude cant be any older than 57. His wife was a sweetheart. I feel horrible for her as she has to watch the man she loves decay into a vegetable like state. I can only imagine how the children feel, if they have any. They seem young enough that they would have been in and around my age if they existed. Cant imagine what itd be like to see your father, a man usually held in high regard, the breadwinner, man of the house hold become a babbling, diaper wearing, blank slate. There is nothing you can do about it. Nothing. Worse yet, you may fall prey to this and your children and possibly their children will have to endure the same.
He spent most of the day mumbling in a low voice nonsensically. Every once in a while i felt compelled to give him a hug or pat him on the back just to let him know that there was some sort of human contact there for him. We spent a period of time waiting outside a doctors office. I kept my head on his shoulder. I had to redirect his hands away from his catheter as he kept wanting to touch it. Dunno if it helped but it felt necessary to talk to him like he was still a functioning human being.
PS
I had a 15 minute conversation with a nurse who gave me her tips on how she beats constipation.
Gross.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Friday, October 10, 2008
Poop and prejudice
Im back in with Mr Eddy again today.
Although yesterdays shift was predominantly uneventful i did managed to squeeze in one of the most nastiest things ive ever seen. Pun intended.
This particular incident involved poop.
Hence the title.
There was so much poop involved that it spilled out of the diaper on to the bedspread. This nastiness was only enhanced when one nurse looked at the other nurse and I and mouthed the words "Its warm".
It would seem that my boredom, lack of stimulation or combination of the both has caused me to suffer from an acute case of prejudice.
I must say for the record that I am generally left wing in my political leanings. I believe in womens rights, the rights of minorities, the rights of teh gayz, right to religion blah blah blah. Everyones got rights but the hippies. I digress. It seems that my political leanings and all the understandings that come with them have been dropped for 12 hours.
The section in which i am stationed is predominantly women. As a result it is quite noticeable when there are men around. I have seen two men, both of which have caused me to laugh out loud at their vivacious swishy ways. Its obvious that these traits are only characteristics of a small part of the gay community which is equally vibrant and diverse as the hetero community. Regardless, I cant help but giggle like a school girl.
My particular favorite moment came from a porter who was dressed as if he was a customer at a night club. His elongated S's would put Buddy to shame. For some reason i was thrown off by his terrible haircut as arent all gay men supposed to have impeccable grooming and style. Obviously one notable exception would be Robin De Groot of Restaurant Makeover fame. Then again this is Halifax we are talking about.
Another incident in which i found myself passing judgement involved a Jehovahs witness Rep who had come to visit my patient.
I had just been reading an article on the religious nut Bruce Balfour, who had returned to Canada after a short stay in a Lebanese prison. He had been planting ceders so that they could be harvested to build a second (3rd?) temple in Israel as a means of making way for the second coming of Christ.
Crazy.
Anyways, thankfully i had not made any comments to my patient about crazy christians, as moments later he was visited by his 'friend'. He left me with some pamphlets about bullying in schools and passage into Jehovah. What the former could do for me, a 23 year old male, or my patient, a bedstricken man with intestinal problems, i do not know. As for the latter of the two pieces, i suppose it might lend hope to Mr Eddy- as i know there is no hope for me. I will say that he was polite, especially when he thanked me for my contributions to Canadas Healthcare system. Dude, im getting paid to do this. Paid poorly. Its money none the less.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Although yesterdays shift was predominantly uneventful i did managed to squeeze in one of the most nastiest things ive ever seen. Pun intended.
This particular incident involved poop.
Hence the title.
There was so much poop involved that it spilled out of the diaper on to the bedspread. This nastiness was only enhanced when one nurse looked at the other nurse and I and mouthed the words "Its warm".
It would seem that my boredom, lack of stimulation or combination of the both has caused me to suffer from an acute case of prejudice.
I must say for the record that I am generally left wing in my political leanings. I believe in womens rights, the rights of minorities, the rights of teh gayz, right to religion blah blah blah. Everyones got rights but the hippies. I digress. It seems that my political leanings and all the understandings that come with them have been dropped for 12 hours.
The section in which i am stationed is predominantly women. As a result it is quite noticeable when there are men around. I have seen two men, both of which have caused me to laugh out loud at their vivacious swishy ways. Its obvious that these traits are only characteristics of a small part of the gay community which is equally vibrant and diverse as the hetero community. Regardless, I cant help but giggle like a school girl.
My particular favorite moment came from a porter who was dressed as if he was a customer at a night club. His elongated S's would put Buddy to shame. For some reason i was thrown off by his terrible haircut as arent all gay men supposed to have impeccable grooming and style. Obviously one notable exception would be Robin De Groot of Restaurant Makeover fame. Then again this is Halifax we are talking about.
Another incident in which i found myself passing judgement involved a Jehovahs witness Rep who had come to visit my patient.
I had just been reading an article on the religious nut Bruce Balfour, who had returned to Canada after a short stay in a Lebanese prison. He had been planting ceders so that they could be harvested to build a second (3rd?) temple in Israel as a means of making way for the second coming of Christ.
Crazy.
Anyways, thankfully i had not made any comments to my patient about crazy christians, as moments later he was visited by his 'friend'. He left me with some pamphlets about bullying in schools and passage into Jehovah. What the former could do for me, a 23 year old male, or my patient, a bedstricken man with intestinal problems, i do not know. As for the latter of the two pieces, i suppose it might lend hope to Mr Eddy- as i know there is no hope for me. I will say that he was polite, especially when he thanked me for my contributions to Canadas Healthcare system. Dude, im getting paid to do this. Paid poorly. Its money none the less.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Unsolved Mysteries
Got an easy one today. He looks like Mr Eddy from Lost Highway. Mostly sleeping when hes not got visitors.
Seems to be alot of religious representatives today. Within the last 4/5 hours ive seen one presbyterian rep and a catholic nun.
Great to see that these religious communities really care for their 'flock'. Ive enjoyed watching these awkward conversations between the people and God's reps.
Honestly prob the best part of the job is watching the interaction between the patient and whoever. Family time tends to be so so as theres rarely an interesting family dynamic. The fun tends to happen with strangers, especially unwanted strangers. Lots of awkward silences and forced conversations. You get to sit and stare the entire time like someone behind a window.
At one point a patient told the presbyterian rep he hadnt been to church in a long time and that he wasnt a church going man. This was followed by another awkward silence and then the rep excused herself to go to another appointment. ou can never be sure whether the reps are there out of the goodness of their own heart or to hopefully scoop up any inheritance/donations. Prob 50/50.
On another note I have developed a crush on a muslim doctor. I know shes muslim because of the hijab (originally had habib written down, thats a common last name like smith or jones, not a fucking piece of clothing, real fucking cultured guy.) Oh the woes of forbidden love!
Oh yeah, Henry fucking Rollins is going to be on Unsolved Mysteries. He said he wants Justice!
For some reason alot of this shift was spent focused on uncomfortable sexual situations throughout my lifetime. It was uncomfortable enough to feel castrated for the shift.
and the next day.
and the day after that.
Here are the usual assortment of songs that were picked in accordance to the different topics that came up in todays post. In some cases some songs were too perfect (see: Slip it in).
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Seems to be alot of religious representatives today. Within the last 4/5 hours ive seen one presbyterian rep and a catholic nun.
Great to see that these religious communities really care for their 'flock'. Ive enjoyed watching these awkward conversations between the people and God's reps.
Honestly prob the best part of the job is watching the interaction between the patient and whoever. Family time tends to be so so as theres rarely an interesting family dynamic. The fun tends to happen with strangers, especially unwanted strangers. Lots of awkward silences and forced conversations. You get to sit and stare the entire time like someone behind a window.
At one point a patient told the presbyterian rep he hadnt been to church in a long time and that he wasnt a church going man. This was followed by another awkward silence and then the rep excused herself to go to another appointment. ou can never be sure whether the reps are there out of the goodness of their own heart or to hopefully scoop up any inheritance/donations. Prob 50/50.
On another note I have developed a crush on a muslim doctor. I know shes muslim because of the hijab (originally had habib written down, thats a common last name like smith or jones, not a fucking piece of clothing, real fucking cultured guy.) Oh the woes of forbidden love!
Oh yeah, Henry fucking Rollins is going to be on Unsolved Mysteries. He said he wants Justice!
For some reason alot of this shift was spent focused on uncomfortable sexual situations throughout my lifetime. It was uncomfortable enough to feel castrated for the shift.
and the next day.
and the day after that.
Here are the usual assortment of songs that were picked in accordance to the different topics that came up in todays post. In some cases some songs were too perfect (see: Slip it in).
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Nice Ol Fella
Wow, having read ahead, the post after this one ends really awkwardly.
Im not entirely sure im prepared to post it.
Gotta say that as a 'writer*' its definitely the hardest thing to conquer.
Some cats are able to play it off like its fiction but i cant help but feel that it comes across as fact/truth. Spose it doesnt help that im making announcements like this. Well Fuck that. That last bit in my future post is surely edited.Yuugh.
Need to stop posting drunk.
NAGL.
Regardless.
The cat i had this shift was an older gent (which seemed to be the trend, spose it shouldnt be surprising as the elderly fall sick everywhere on a regular basis.) Like alot of the other cats i spent time with he was in the war. It was never uncommon out on the east coast. Much like Italy (and any other poor catholic/religious countries/states/provinces/regions) you gave one son to to the army and one son to the church.
In all honesty your better off losing a leg then getting molested but thats a whole other diatribe.
This post seems to be getting increasingly darker.
Anyways with this comes a great amount of stories in relation to personal struggles. As mentioned in the previous post about our boy the Scotch, many a horror was seen and many a horror was described. It was none the less fascinating and beneficial. In this case, the ol fella was telling me about how the Canadian government would send...
Ok i gotta stop here for a second...
Ive read this same paragraph in my note book about 6 or 7 times and its still not making sense. I will grant you that ive had a bit to drink but i do believe that some of my previous posts will prove that this hasnt necessarily been a hinderance. If anything its added to my immediate charm.
As a result we can ignore this interruption and direct our attention back to our beloved subject.
One thing about the old is that they eventually realize that there really is little to lose in no longer giving a shit about appereances. This doesnt necessarily apply to all the old folks as there are a few that in there cute manner feel its necessary to wear their sunday best all the time. This should be applauded HOWEVER one needs to recognize and appreciate those that choose comfort over fashion. This gentleman was not ashamed to admit this, especially as he announced that he had decided to use a belt with his jogging pants as they had come from the garbage (not entirely sure he was right of mind at that moment). Regardless it was something to dwell on.
The most memorable thing about this old fella was the fact that he had half a set of teeth but a heart full of love. Dude was free with the hugs and theres not reason not enjoy a hug.
Willing to bet that the old boy enjoyed his smut as well (this btw is smut in the old folk sense, not in the pornographies sense)
SeeqPod - Playable Search
*Using this loosely. Ive never been printed in a paper or magazine or anything of any repute as a result some might argue that im not a proper writer. Fuck you, stoosh.
Im not entirely sure im prepared to post it.
Gotta say that as a 'writer*' its definitely the hardest thing to conquer.
Some cats are able to play it off like its fiction but i cant help but feel that it comes across as fact/truth. Spose it doesnt help that im making announcements like this. Well Fuck that. That last bit in my future post is surely edited.Yuugh.
Need to stop posting drunk.
NAGL.
Regardless.
The cat i had this shift was an older gent (which seemed to be the trend, spose it shouldnt be surprising as the elderly fall sick everywhere on a regular basis.) Like alot of the other cats i spent time with he was in the war. It was never uncommon out on the east coast. Much like Italy (and any other poor catholic/religious countries/states/provinces/regions) you gave one son to to the army and one son to the church.
In all honesty your better off losing a leg then getting molested but thats a whole other diatribe.
This post seems to be getting increasingly darker.
Anyways with this comes a great amount of stories in relation to personal struggles. As mentioned in the previous post about our boy the Scotch, many a horror was seen and many a horror was described. It was none the less fascinating and beneficial. In this case, the ol fella was telling me about how the Canadian government would send...
Ok i gotta stop here for a second...
Ive read this same paragraph in my note book about 6 or 7 times and its still not making sense. I will grant you that ive had a bit to drink but i do believe that some of my previous posts will prove that this hasnt necessarily been a hinderance. If anything its added to my immediate charm.
As a result we can ignore this interruption and direct our attention back to our beloved subject.
One thing about the old is that they eventually realize that there really is little to lose in no longer giving a shit about appereances. This doesnt necessarily apply to all the old folks as there are a few that in there cute manner feel its necessary to wear their sunday best all the time. This should be applauded HOWEVER one needs to recognize and appreciate those that choose comfort over fashion. This gentleman was not ashamed to admit this, especially as he announced that he had decided to use a belt with his jogging pants as they had come from the garbage (not entirely sure he was right of mind at that moment). Regardless it was something to dwell on.
The most memorable thing about this old fella was the fact that he had half a set of teeth but a heart full of love. Dude was free with the hugs and theres not reason not enjoy a hug.
Willing to bet that the old boy enjoyed his smut as well (this btw is smut in the old folk sense, not in the pornographies sense)
SeeqPod - Playable Search
*Using this loosely. Ive never been printed in a paper or magazine or anything of any repute as a result some might argue that im not a proper writer. Fuck you, stoosh.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Ghost Month, Day, Year
Smells of work:
-Fresh cologne & perfume at the start and end of shift
-Shit
-Hand sanitizer
-Sanitizing detergent
-Rubber gloves
-Cheap soap (of the bar variety)
-Stale breath
- Sweat and blood of the workers (just kidding)
SeeqPod - Playable Search
-Fresh cologne & perfume at the start and end of shift
-Shit
-Hand sanitizer
-Sanitizing detergent
-Rubber gloves
-Cheap soap (of the bar variety)
-Stale breath
- Sweat and blood of the workers (just kidding)
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Mullets, Mustaches and Monster Trucks
This shift is a shortone.
Im aiding a guy who clearly doesnt need it and its boring me immensely.
I dont know what pains me more, my hunger, the lack of break or the incessant stories about the mans social circle (and the repetition of these stories).
We had a great discussion about how we'd love to sit in on Monster Garage to learn various secrets.
I guess I was convincing in my lies regarding mechanics as I know little to nothing about cars and their parts.
He then told me various stories emphasizing his social status. Ill let the reader take liberties and enjoy the few specific points that were brought to my attention.
(Holy fuck was I pretentious. I spose I am now, but Im in denial so it doesnt count. I love the working man, no matter how foreign that world may be. These soft clerical hands cant take it).
1- He lost his license to a DUI
2- He was in an accident with a four wheeler because he likes to 'giver' (consequently his wife refuses to ride with him)
3- The fucking Monster Truck conversation
4- His sister was evicted from her trailer (TRAILER!!!!!)
I hope that adds up for you.
I cant wait til this is done. Im cooking up a feed of chicken and rice.
PS He also threatened his wifes ex-boss at KFC
Final notes:
Man, id like to apologize. Although these notes/this story was taken 5 or so years back, im coming off like a complete dick. I spose I was just out of University and figured I was owed something (not unlike most, if not all students) and still had not worked a serious day of work in my life even. In all honesty, I bet dude was pretty awesome and down to earth. Id really like to apologize to that dude. I guess I was in denial of my roots. Amherst WHAT?!?! Never forget your roots.
FOB or not.
Po folk make the world go round.
PS
Ive had a bit to drink
PPS
This isnt some sort of communist friendly rant.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Im aiding a guy who clearly doesnt need it and its boring me immensely.
I dont know what pains me more, my hunger, the lack of break or the incessant stories about the mans social circle (and the repetition of these stories).
We had a great discussion about how we'd love to sit in on Monster Garage to learn various secrets.
I guess I was convincing in my lies regarding mechanics as I know little to nothing about cars and their parts.
He then told me various stories emphasizing his social status. Ill let the reader take liberties and enjoy the few specific points that were brought to my attention.
(Holy fuck was I pretentious. I spose I am now, but Im in denial so it doesnt count. I love the working man, no matter how foreign that world may be. These soft clerical hands cant take it).
1- He lost his license to a DUI
2- He was in an accident with a four wheeler because he likes to 'giver' (consequently his wife refuses to ride with him)
3- The fucking Monster Truck conversation
4- His sister was evicted from her trailer (TRAILER!!!!!)
I hope that adds up for you.
I cant wait til this is done. Im cooking up a feed of chicken and rice.
PS He also threatened his wifes ex-boss at KFC
Final notes:
Man, id like to apologize. Although these notes/this story was taken 5 or so years back, im coming off like a complete dick. I spose I was just out of University and figured I was owed something (not unlike most, if not all students) and still had not worked a serious day of work in my life even. In all honesty, I bet dude was pretty awesome and down to earth. Id really like to apologize to that dude. I guess I was in denial of my roots. Amherst WHAT?!?! Never forget your roots.
FOB or not.
Po folk make the world go round.
PS
Ive had a bit to drink
PPS
This isnt some sort of communist friendly rant.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Wee Willie Winkie
8:32 pm
Well this shift is gonna be interesting. Hes an aged acadian alcoholic whos fallen on his head in the process of drying out and he greets me with curses in both our countries languages. hes 65 but easily looks like hes in his 90s. He screams in both french and english "cunt cunt cunt" over and over and over. The attendent i relieved laughed heartily shaking his head said "Have a good time".
So far so amusing.
Several Quotes
Nurse "Goodnight Willie"
Willie "Goodnight Cunt"
Me "So, where are you from?"
Willie "My Mother..." (implications were far worse then the actual quote)
Later on, probably 4am ish
This guy totally reminds me of that miserable drunk in trees lounge.. Sometimes he sounds like a guinea pig, squeeing away "AWAWAWAWAAWAAW" etc.
Ive spent most of my time either watching WWW change positions 20 times in a minute or watching "Hotboys" starring a whole lotta No Limit cats and Gary Busey.
Its a tough call whos the worse actor, Gary Busey or Silkk the Shocker.
He also keeps calling me either Paul ("Pol Pol Pol Pol"), boy or dog. The third name he used frequently earlier when he was quite angry.
There were some antagonistic conversations (on my part) suggesting to Willie that he should run for premier. He kept yelling "Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt". I suggested he could run under the alliance banner and that could be his slogan. Oh yeah, PS Grumble grumble grumble.
Lumpia= Eggroll (not part of the entry but was written there so id thought id include it, a long long time ago i had a phillipino girlfriend and it was not uncommon for me to eat a large plate of those in one sitting. So fucking delicious.)
I have melded two shifts into one entry. This would be where the second one starts. i forgot to mention that for some reason he always thanks me when i give him something to drink.
"GOUTE! GOUTE!" (sometimes "DOG! GOUTE!")
i give him a drink, holding the straw to his dry lips and watching him slurp greedily.
"Thank you" in a whispered voice.
Nurse was really pissed cuz he kept swinging at him. He did however take his sleeping pills, so hopefully sweet dreams willy. Cops is on. We are watching it together.
Nice isnt it?
Wee Willie "Couche-toi, Goddamn monkey!"
I also recently noticed as they stripped him that he was a hunchback. Whether this was something that happened at birth or a later deformity, ill never know. I do know however it adds to his character. His head hangsoff his body for fuckssake. From this pale light he looks a bit like William S Burroughs but sounds like the penguin. Fuckin hell.
Wee Willie "Youre Water Crazy"
Frankly my dear readers, I am water crazy.
Wish i could have found Master P - We Riders, best song imo (also first song i ever heard by him). Lotta No Limit songs i couldnt find. Get off my back.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Well this shift is gonna be interesting. Hes an aged acadian alcoholic whos fallen on his head in the process of drying out and he greets me with curses in both our countries languages. hes 65 but easily looks like hes in his 90s. He screams in both french and english "cunt cunt cunt" over and over and over. The attendent i relieved laughed heartily shaking his head said "Have a good time".
So far so amusing.
Several Quotes
Nurse "Goodnight Willie"
Willie "Goodnight Cunt"
Me "So, where are you from?"
Willie "My Mother..." (implications were far worse then the actual quote)
Later on, probably 4am ish
This guy totally reminds me of that miserable drunk in trees lounge.. Sometimes he sounds like a guinea pig, squeeing away "AWAWAWAWAAWAAW" etc.
Ive spent most of my time either watching WWW change positions 20 times in a minute or watching "Hotboys" starring a whole lotta No Limit cats and Gary Busey.
Its a tough call whos the worse actor, Gary Busey or Silkk the Shocker.
He also keeps calling me either Paul ("Pol Pol Pol Pol"), boy or dog. The third name he used frequently earlier when he was quite angry.
There were some antagonistic conversations (on my part) suggesting to Willie that he should run for premier. He kept yelling "Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt". I suggested he could run under the alliance banner and that could be his slogan. Oh yeah, PS Grumble grumble grumble.
Lumpia= Eggroll (not part of the entry but was written there so id thought id include it, a long long time ago i had a phillipino girlfriend and it was not uncommon for me to eat a large plate of those in one sitting. So fucking delicious.)
I have melded two shifts into one entry. This would be where the second one starts. i forgot to mention that for some reason he always thanks me when i give him something to drink.
"GOUTE! GOUTE!" (sometimes "DOG! GOUTE!")
i give him a drink, holding the straw to his dry lips and watching him slurp greedily.
"Thank you" in a whispered voice.
Nurse was really pissed cuz he kept swinging at him. He did however take his sleeping pills, so hopefully sweet dreams willy. Cops is on. We are watching it together.
Nice isnt it?
Wee Willie "Couche-toi, Goddamn monkey!"
I also recently noticed as they stripped him that he was a hunchback. Whether this was something that happened at birth or a later deformity, ill never know. I do know however it adds to his character. His head hangsoff his body for fuckssake. From this pale light he looks a bit like William S Burroughs but sounds like the penguin. Fuckin hell.
Wee Willie "Youre Water Crazy"
Frankly my dear readers, I am water crazy.
Wish i could have found Master P - We Riders, best song imo (also first song i ever heard by him). Lotta No Limit songs i couldnt find. Get off my back.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
BK Breakfast sandwiches
Ok ok, so im not writing from work, however this story is still work related. Ive gone to drop off our payslips as there is a rotation of 3 weeks (each person assigned to a different week).
I had a feed of some croissanwiches (youd better put some bbq sauce on that damn shit. Prob contributed later to my ulcer) and im waiting for the bus to come. This will take a substantial amount of time as it is Natal day (ive honestly never heard of this holiday and being a man of leisure, i am well versed in the most obscure holidays).
Anyways, this part of town in which our office is located is both out in the middle of nowhere and somewhat sketchy. On several occasions ive had the delightful experience of being exposed to a variety of drug abusers and other such lowlifes.
Todays particular situation involved some gas station attendents and a crazy homeless man.
Unfortunately i missed the initial exchanges between the two attendents and the hobo. But to my understanding he was rooting around in the gas stations garbage and possibly defecating nearby. Although he didnt actually say anything he had very sharp mannerisms that would suggest mental illness, intoxication or both.
There was a very intense staring contest between the first attendent, an older gentlemen who asked the guy "What are you doing?".
The second attendent appeared from around the corner. Both attendents stood with their arms crossed as the bums body swayed with the breeze.
The only problem was that it was completely still that day.
The second attendent pretended to be busy as the bum pretended to leave. It was amusing because neither of them actually was going to go anywhere. The bum continued to distance himself from the attendent, however every so often he would begin to close back in on the gas station.
I became a little nervous as the proximity between the bum and myself became increasingly smaller. I even wondered whether i should run for the cover of the fearless esso knights. I then realized that i was physically larger then both of them so i should stop being a pussy and suck it up. Thankfully by that point the bum had fucked off, looking like a balloon bobbing in the wind.
Please note i chose songs that have titles related to hobos.
Oddly enough they were all on diff Vice magazine sample cds too.
Subliminal message anyone?
SeeqPod - Playable Search
I had a feed of some croissanwiches (youd better put some bbq sauce on that damn shit. Prob contributed later to my ulcer) and im waiting for the bus to come. This will take a substantial amount of time as it is Natal day (ive honestly never heard of this holiday and being a man of leisure, i am well versed in the most obscure holidays).
Anyways, this part of town in which our office is located is both out in the middle of nowhere and somewhat sketchy. On several occasions ive had the delightful experience of being exposed to a variety of drug abusers and other such lowlifes.
Todays particular situation involved some gas station attendents and a crazy homeless man.
Unfortunately i missed the initial exchanges between the two attendents and the hobo. But to my understanding he was rooting around in the gas stations garbage and possibly defecating nearby. Although he didnt actually say anything he had very sharp mannerisms that would suggest mental illness, intoxication or both.
There was a very intense staring contest between the first attendent, an older gentlemen who asked the guy "What are you doing?".
The second attendent appeared from around the corner. Both attendents stood with their arms crossed as the bums body swayed with the breeze.
The only problem was that it was completely still that day.
The second attendent pretended to be busy as the bum pretended to leave. It was amusing because neither of them actually was going to go anywhere. The bum continued to distance himself from the attendent, however every so often he would begin to close back in on the gas station.
I became a little nervous as the proximity between the bum and myself became increasingly smaller. I even wondered whether i should run for the cover of the fearless esso knights. I then realized that i was physically larger then both of them so i should stop being a pussy and suck it up. Thankfully by that point the bum had fucked off, looking like a balloon bobbing in the wind.
Please note i chose songs that have titles related to hobos.
Oddly enough they were all on diff Vice magazine sample cds too.
Subliminal message anyone?
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Monday, August 18, 2008
When 2 become 1
I had two patients at separate times tonight. The first was that old fella in his wheelchair, Speedy Gonzales (or Speedracer as i believe i had called him). He was certainly amiable and slept most of the time, if not all of the time. The few minutes he was up he spent smoking peter jacksons telling me how smoking was a wonderful hobby. I could do nothing but agree.
The nurses soon saw fit for me to tend to another patient who I had had on a previous shift. Unlike that previous shift this guy was up and running. Quite an amusing fellow actually. I often wonder if older people have selective hearing. Much like my great Uncle Roy, when I asked questions, he would disregard them. Please keep in mind it wasnt in an offensive manner, more in the sense that he never heard me pose the question in the first place. This, of course, proved to be amusing.
Example Number 1
Patient 2 (Crazy Ol Coote), pointing at the hallway: Who was that fella?
Me: I believe his name was Colin
COC: Wylie?
Me laughing: Nono, (spelling it out) C-O-L-I-N
COC: Wylie?
Me laughing harder: No, its still Colin
COC: Wylie?
Me: Yes, Wylie
COC: Well aint that something, I got a cousin named Wylie
Example Number 2
Me: So, do you like fishing?
COC: So ive got 300,000 Dollars and 3 girls that work for me
Needless to say I began to wonder if he was a pimp in his spare time
He did have a swagger.
Granted he lost half his leg in the war.
Example Number 3
COC: Are there any pants in there?
Me: Nope Just shirts
COC:Pass me some of those pants
Me: well, theres no pants but ill pass you some shirts
(i pass him some shirts)
COC: Well, ill be damned, these are all shirts
SeeqPod - Playable Search
The nurses soon saw fit for me to tend to another patient who I had had on a previous shift. Unlike that previous shift this guy was up and running. Quite an amusing fellow actually. I often wonder if older people have selective hearing. Much like my great Uncle Roy, when I asked questions, he would disregard them. Please keep in mind it wasnt in an offensive manner, more in the sense that he never heard me pose the question in the first place. This, of course, proved to be amusing.
Example Number 1
Patient 2 (Crazy Ol Coote), pointing at the hallway: Who was that fella?
Me: I believe his name was Colin
COC: Wylie?
Me laughing: Nono, (spelling it out) C-O-L-I-N
COC: Wylie?
Me laughing harder: No, its still Colin
COC: Wylie?
Me: Yes, Wylie
COC: Well aint that something, I got a cousin named Wylie
Example Number 2
Me: So, do you like fishing?
COC: So ive got 300,000 Dollars and 3 girls that work for me
Needless to say I began to wonder if he was a pimp in his spare time
He did have a swagger.
Granted he lost half his leg in the war.
Example Number 3
COC: Are there any pants in there?
Me: Nope Just shirts
COC:Pass me some of those pants
Me: well, theres no pants but ill pass you some shirts
(i pass him some shirts)
COC: Well, ill be damned, these are all shirts
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Monday, August 04, 2008
Original Introduction/Okie
Found the original introduction halfway through the note book.
Thats a good place for an introduction.
Figured it was worth throwing this up here regardless.
Introduction to Candystripers (Candystripers was the original title).
All these stories are voices of experience within the hospital. Although we are neither hardened physicians nor hardworking nurses, we do spend large quantities of time (each shift is 12 hours) with patients and their families. These are our stories. All names and initials have been changed to protect the individual patients and their families. In place we have given them humorous nicknames.
Meh.
Reads like the intro to Law and Order.
Feeling particularly generous so im gonna post a big 2 parter today.
Okie
This shift has been really too different from any other shift. The start of the shift was amusing enough having run into a fellow who was wearing a supertramp shirt (supertramp for the record, fucking rule, seriously) and had no clue how to navigate through the hospital. My fellow has a trumpet instead of a traech and it makes things difficult to understand. To make matters worse his handwriting is attrocious and sometimes incoherent.
One nurse came in with a flashlight and he went beserk, as if the nurse was an invader from that game nighttrap. His nurse is alright except she doesnt seem to like it when i start asking questions about medication (IE "Do most patients get ativan?" "Most doctors give it" "So i guess its a cure all, huh?") or about their jobs in general ("Do you guys do alot of paperwork? Hows that?")
They do seem to give out alot of ativan though, seriously. I wonder if half the patients become washed up clothing designers and go straight to Betty Ford.
What?!
Well after trying to yank out all of his tubes consecutively theyve dosed him up with some morphine and hes definitely more placid. I hope for his sake he can sleep soon. He seems to be enamoured with the flashing light on the smoke alarm. Its like hes hyptonized or a deer caught in headlights.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Thats a good place for an introduction.
Figured it was worth throwing this up here regardless.
Introduction to Candystripers (Candystripers was the original title).
All these stories are voices of experience within the hospital. Although we are neither hardened physicians nor hardworking nurses, we do spend large quantities of time (each shift is 12 hours) with patients and their families. These are our stories. All names and initials have been changed to protect the individual patients and their families. In place we have given them humorous nicknames.
Meh.
Reads like the intro to Law and Order.
Feeling particularly generous so im gonna post a big 2 parter today.
Okie
This shift has been really too different from any other shift. The start of the shift was amusing enough having run into a fellow who was wearing a supertramp shirt (supertramp for the record, fucking rule, seriously) and had no clue how to navigate through the hospital. My fellow has a trumpet instead of a traech and it makes things difficult to understand. To make matters worse his handwriting is attrocious and sometimes incoherent.
One nurse came in with a flashlight and he went beserk, as if the nurse was an invader from that game nighttrap. His nurse is alright except she doesnt seem to like it when i start asking questions about medication (IE "Do most patients get ativan?" "Most doctors give it" "So i guess its a cure all, huh?") or about their jobs in general ("Do you guys do alot of paperwork? Hows that?")
They do seem to give out alot of ativan though, seriously. I wonder if half the patients become washed up clothing designers and go straight to Betty Ford.
What?!
Well after trying to yank out all of his tubes consecutively theyve dosed him up with some morphine and hes definitely more placid. I hope for his sake he can sleep soon. He seems to be enamoured with the flashing light on the smoke alarm. Its like hes hyptonized or a deer caught in headlights.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
