A slippery predicament

Forward:
I was about to announce a hiatus from this blog as I have recently been copying notes and stories from my sisters journals of when she too was working as a candy striper back in the summer of 2003. Her notes are great but I have to admit that it can be a bit difficult to find the inspiration to meld a good yarn out of it as they are all her notes and memories.

I more or less was gonna focus more on my smut which sadly has also stalled but not nearly as much as this blog.

However, whilst reading through my sisters notes i found one particular story that was of great amusement to all of us at the time (for the actual time line of these posts read the intro/first post for details). As a result I will definitely post this bit and perhaps inspiration will ensue.

-CeePee

Day 12-
I've worked in the rehab hospital today with a woman who was about 45. She has 2 children (a son and a daughter). The first thing she said to me when i entered her room was "Hi, youre wearing something scented"*. I asked her if it bugged her and she said yes and asked what it was. I said it must be my 'do. She later again asked what it was. Obviously at this point i got a bit suspicious.

It turns out that 2 years ago she had a stroke, heart failure and a double by pass. Ouch.
Im not sure if she as altogether normal before that but now, as a result of all that shit, she has a fetish for Vaseline. Im not fucking kidding.


When i tell people this story (or my brother or his gf, who has also taken care of her) the never initially believe it and fair enough, it comes off like like one of those people on Maury that are scared of pickles or mustard or whatever.
Just seems like horseshit.
My brother always tells me about how he used to threaten a friend of his who was supposedly scared of fruit (i mean cmon guy) by saying he was going to hide oranges and bananas under his pillow. Yeah youre screaming but do you really mean it? Well this lady is totally fucking obsessed, in the nastiest way, with vaseline. And drinking water.

Mind you, its nothing sexual*1. She just needs to apply it to her lips.
For about 15 minutes. Usually before she smokes. Which she does constantly.
Also in her nose. She likes to take a cue tip and put a huge gob in there which she then sniffs.

She also likes to use eye drops really frequently.

Id also like to state that her sense of fashion seems to have taken a hit as well. Granted this is the east coast of Canada which is not renowned for being a hub for the avant garde fashion scene so we cant necessarily attribute this to her unfortunate circumstances. She likes to wear two pairs of pants (joggers, or sweatpants for you laymen) in which she likes to tuck her sweater and her jacket into. Oh yeah, she also wears an ascot.

I was instructed as we went out for her to have a cigarette to assemble a lawnchair and an umbrella as it was going to storm outside. It was sunny and the middle of June.

When she smokes, she lights up the cigarette everytime she inhales, much like a crackhead. She smokes about 2 cigarettes every 15 minutes then we go upstairs where she will claim that she has to vomit and goes through the whole vaseline/eyedrop process again.

She is also quite opinionated which although particularly cold of me, always seemed to be amusing for a person under such duress and in such a situation to be nit picky.
She likes The Pressgang and redwine BUT not in excessive amounts. Ah her conservatism still shines through. She loves chocolate but claims not to be a chocoholic. She hates people who drink and drive (not sure how this came up or what the connection was, outside of the 'olic') and openly tells people who are overweight that they need to join weightwatchers. She also thinks her son is gay, hes about 16, not that theres anything wrong with that. She hates the nurses and doesnt really like men unless they are particularly good looking. She loves crosswords. Oddly enough I suspect she'd be really good on jeopardy. She is from Montreal but loves the US of A and thinks that people from Nova Scotia are snobby. Not sure how that came about, people havent got enough money to be snobby here. She also knows which elevators are 'the quickets' and has amazing greeny/blue eyes.

I did feel terrible for her as she told me her son has only been to visit twice in 18 months. To be honest I cant blame him. Who would want to see their mother like this? Shes still young but nowhere near what you want/need/wish your mother would be. Its gotta be crushing for the family, let alone the children. I hope to god the kids have a decent father, shes never mentioned anyone and you get the idea that he might be out of the scene or they just dont get on. She continued to talk about menopause and how she had alot of blood loss and cramps. Makes me scared to grow older as a woman.
I think i could see where she had a piece of her brain removed as there seems to be a slight groove in her skull/head on her right side.

I definitely want to work with her again, Sweet Sweet D.



*Side note: For the record we were to never wear anything scented like deodorant or perfume etc which makes sense cuz what kind of sick fuck gets dolled up to work around sick and dying people? What you wanna remind them of what they are missing? Youre just twisted.

*1 Apparently This statement was debateable as i later talked to my brothers girlfriend who told me that she had spoken to some other candy striper and apparently the lady liked to put it on her vag as well. Apparently this happened everytime she went to the bathroom. A fucking mess. A nasty fucking mess.