Day 1

Almost lost keys in the psych ward. They would have had to get all new locks.
Me=Fired.
I called into Johanna and tell her about my bloody scare. Perhaps its a good idea to let the nurses know that it might not be such a good idea to give us attendents such important objects.

Psych ward is a complicated place. Its both uplifting (knowing first and foremost my feet are planted on the ground and i believe im completely sane) and depressing (these poor bastards).

Alot of todays shift went off like an afterschool special. The first nurse i talked to introduced herself by telling me about a kid who lost touch with reality because he smoked so much pot. Then proceeded to tell me about a guy who did a hit of e and went crazy. Good stuff. Thanks Nancy Regan. You really know how to speak to the youts.

Theres always jokes about the extremities of mental illness of any sorts. Jokes about dudes that wear tinfoil hats or believe the walls are talking to them. The boggles and reels when you are finally introduced to these same people. It breaks your heart knowing very well these people believe in earnest that what they tell you is their reality. The patient i had was quite sedate as she had a form of organic alzheimers. Apparently she had no understand of my presence. I wonder how far that extends. Does she only acknowledge certain people? How does one get her to acknowledge you? How long does this acknowledgement last? I failed to find the difference between organic alzheimers and regular alzheimers, so im no more knowledgeable than before outside of the first hand experience.

Through out the night i was introduced to a host of characters. The majority in their middle age. I did meet several boys in my own age. One of which told the nurse, heartbreakingly, that 'he just wanted to talk to me', another who talked to the magnets in his hands. The most crippling thought to me about these people is that they will never know the joys of carrying on with a regular life. They will never know a 9-5 existence filled with an 8 hour workday, children needing food then school then food then attention then sleep. They will never be able to focus on loving another person because they are too trapped in their own lost little world. More often than not these worlds are filled with fear and panic. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Nonstop.