Today my shift was cancelled but I knew that I would get called in late or just before my shift was supposed to start. I had the chance to particicpate in some other 'endeavors' however I did not because I was waiting for the call. (note to self, ask my sister what these endeavors were, was it pot related as I suspect or was she part of a white slave ring???).
The patient is a man who is very tall and solid. APparently he was trying to get out of bed, but he hasnt even moved since ive been here. Today, at some point, he pulled out his IV, i dont even have to worry about that at hte moment. I'm not sure if he had a stroke or if he has alzheimers. he cannot speak very well but seems to understand simple sentences. He has this big rash all over his body that the nurse had to put cream on. It looks a bit like dermititis.
Today my farts are really stinky and its making me laugh inside because i know each time the nurse walks in it probably reeks and she wont say a word as she probably thinks its the patient. Surprise! His diaper is clean!
The man laying in bed next to my patientis is either Polish or Russian. He has a wicked accent, some nice thick brown glasses and likes to talk about 'woman power'. I think he thinks the nurses are all crazy because they moved him from a 4 person room to a 2 person room. He doesnt think there is enough oxygen per space in a 2 person room. The reason hes been put in here is because he likes to wander the halls. This isnt generally an issue with most patients however most patients dont usually hassle other patients. Especially other sleeping patients. Apparently he is an architect (im thinking in the vein of Art Vandaley) who helped build this nice circle building at M St. V University.
I did manage to get a juicy bit of gossip from the old crank. A lady that was visiting him talked about an old professor that would do sexual favors for the school priest. The woman said she would see the priest pick up the Prof and would drive away together. Apparently the prof would also 'babysit' the priests dogs, whatever the fuck that means.
Several hours later-
It would seem that my patient keeps trying to get out of bed. I just let him try for about over 1 hr until he wore himself out. But it would seem that he still has some energy left in him, which is unfortunate as its about 5 am and i want to resume farting and reading. I wont lie when i say that this technique usually works.
He is a large man about 6'3 and 325lbs. Fuck I want to yell at him and tell him to lay the fuck down. This doesnt normally bother me but how is it that these people cant usually sleep? They arent being paid 7.25/hr, why are they satying up?
They have a bed with nice sheets!!!
Im still loving this polish guy, especially as i cant understand a word he is saying but it is awesome as all hell. Hes always going on about architecture and how it sucks at the hospital then laughing. He keeps saying "I dont want to criticize", then quit talkin guy! Nah, yer cool.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
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