Nice Ol Fella

Wow, having read ahead, the post after this one ends really awkwardly.
Im not entirely sure im prepared to post it.
Gotta say that as a 'writer*' its definitely the hardest thing to conquer.
Some cats are able to play it off like its fiction but i cant help but feel that it comes across as fact/truth. Spose it doesnt help that im making announcements like this. Well Fuck that. That last bit in my future post is surely edited.Yuugh.

Need to stop posting drunk.
NAGL.

Regardless.
The cat i had this shift was an older gent (which seemed to be the trend, spose it shouldnt be surprising as the elderly fall sick everywhere on a regular basis.) Like alot of the other cats i spent time with he was in the war. It was never uncommon out on the east coast. Much like Italy (and any other poor catholic/religious countries/states/provinces/regions) you gave one son to to the army and one son to the church.

In all honesty your better off losing a leg then getting molested but thats a whole other diatribe.

This post seems to be getting increasingly darker.

Anyways with this comes a great amount of stories in relation to personal struggles. As mentioned in the previous post about our boy the Scotch, many a horror was seen and many a horror was described. It was none the less fascinating and beneficial. In this case, the ol fella was telling me about how the Canadian government would send...

Ok i gotta stop here for a second...

Ive read this same paragraph in my note book about 6 or 7 times and its still not making sense. I will grant you that ive had a bit to drink but i do believe that some of my previous posts will prove that this hasnt necessarily been a hinderance. If anything its added to my immediate charm.

As a result we can ignore this interruption and direct our attention back to our beloved subject.

One thing about the old is that they eventually realize that there really is little to lose in no longer giving a shit about appereances. This doesnt necessarily apply to all the old folks as there are a few that in there cute manner feel its necessary to wear their sunday best all the time. This should be applauded HOWEVER one needs to recognize and appreciate those that choose comfort over fashion. This gentleman was not ashamed to admit this, especially as he announced that he had decided to use a belt with his jogging pants as they had come from the garbage (not entirely sure he was right of mind at that moment). Regardless it was something to dwell on.

The most memorable thing about this old fella was the fact that he had half a set of teeth but a heart full of love. Dude was free with the hugs and theres not reason not enjoy a hug.

Willing to bet that the old boy enjoyed his smut as well (this btw is smut in the old folk sense, not in the pornographies sense)


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*Using this loosely. Ive never been printed in a paper or magazine or anything of any repute as a result some might argue that im not a proper writer. Fuck you, stoosh.

Ghost Month, Day, Year

Smells of work:

-Fresh cologne & perfume at the start and end of shift
-Shit
-Hand sanitizer
-Sanitizing detergent
-Rubber gloves
-Cheap soap (of the bar variety)
-Stale breath
- Sweat and blood of the workers (just kidding)


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Mullets, Mustaches and Monster Trucks

This shift is a shortone.
Im aiding a guy who clearly doesnt need it and its boring me immensely.
I dont know what pains me more, my hunger, the lack of break or the incessant stories about the mans social circle (and the repetition of these stories).

We had a great discussion about how we'd love to sit in on Monster Garage to learn various secrets.
I guess I was convincing in my lies regarding mechanics as I know little to nothing about cars and their parts.

He then told me various stories emphasizing his social status. Ill let the reader take liberties and enjoy the few specific points that were brought to my attention.

(Holy fuck was I pretentious. I spose I am now, but Im in denial so it doesnt count. I love the working man, no matter how foreign that world may be. These soft clerical hands cant take it).

1- He lost his license to a DUI
2- He was in an accident with a four wheeler because he likes to 'giver' (consequently his wife refuses to ride with him)
3- The fucking Monster Truck conversation
4- His sister was evicted from her trailer (TRAILER!!!!!)

I hope that adds up for you.
I cant wait til this is done. Im cooking up a feed of chicken and rice.

PS He also threatened his wifes ex-boss at KFC

Final notes:
Man, id like to apologize. Although these notes/this story was taken 5 or so years back, im coming off like a complete dick. I spose I was just out of University and figured I was owed something (not unlike most, if not all students) and still had not worked a serious day of work in my life even. In all honesty, I bet dude was pretty awesome and down to earth. Id really like to apologize to that dude. I guess I was in denial of my roots. Amherst WHAT?!?! Never forget your roots.
FOB or not.
Po folk make the world go round.
PS
Ive had a bit to drink
PPS
This isnt some sort of communist friendly rant.


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Wee Willie Winkie

8:32 pm
Well this shift is gonna be interesting. Hes an aged acadian alcoholic whos fallen on his head in the process of drying out and he greets me with curses in both our countries languages. hes 65 but easily looks like hes in his 90s. He screams in both french and english "cunt cunt cunt" over and over and over. The attendent i relieved laughed heartily shaking his head said "Have a good time".
So far so amusing.

Several Quotes

Nurse "Goodnight Willie"
Willie "Goodnight Cunt"

Me "So, where are you from?"
Willie "My Mother..." (implications were far worse then the actual quote)

Later on, probably 4am ish

This guy totally reminds me of that miserable drunk in trees lounge.. Sometimes he sounds like a guinea pig, squeeing away "AWAWAWAWAAWAAW" etc.

Ive spent most of my time either watching WWW change positions 20 times in a minute or watching "Hotboys" starring a whole lotta No Limit cats and Gary Busey.
Its a tough call whos the worse actor, Gary Busey or Silkk the Shocker.

He also keeps calling me either Paul ("Pol Pol Pol Pol"), boy or dog. The third name he used frequently earlier when he was quite angry.

There were some antagonistic conversations (on my part) suggesting to Willie that he should run for premier. He kept yelling "Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt". I suggested he could run under the alliance banner and that could be his slogan. Oh yeah, PS Grumble grumble grumble.

Lumpia= Eggroll (not part of the entry but was written there so id thought id include it, a long long time ago i had a phillipino girlfriend and it was not uncommon for me to eat a large plate of those in one sitting. So fucking delicious.)

I have melded two shifts into one entry. This would be where the second one starts. i forgot to mention that for some reason he always thanks me when i give him something to drink.

"GOUTE! GOUTE!" (sometimes "DOG! GOUTE!")
i give him a drink, holding the straw to his dry lips and watching him slurp greedily.

"Thank you" in a whispered voice.

Nurse was really pissed cuz he kept swinging at him. He did however take his sleeping pills, so hopefully sweet dreams willy. Cops is on. We are watching it together.
Nice isnt it?

Wee Willie "Couche-toi, Goddamn monkey!"

I also recently noticed as they stripped him that he was a hunchback. Whether this was something that happened at birth or a later deformity, ill never know. I do know however it adds to his character. His head hangsoff his body for fuckssake. From this pale light he looks a bit like William S Burroughs but sounds like the penguin. Fuckin hell.

Wee Willie "Youre Water Crazy"

Frankly my dear readers, I am water crazy.

Wish i could have found Master P - We Riders, best song imo (also first song i ever heard by him). Lotta No Limit songs i couldnt find. Get off my back.



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