Lucky you.
Looks like im too awake to try and catch a couple hours kip before my plane trip so i intend on writing something out. This story should be interesting as theres no initials and most of it is rambling. Oddly enough it involves a transvestite again. I can promise you its not a reoccuring theme. At least not one that im conscious of.
Seems to have been a somewhat uneventful evening. Apparently I yet again won the heart of some poor old girl (why are they never young and/or rich?) who looks as if shes on her deathbed. She keeps flirting with me and giving me copious amounts of popsicles. Who is this wandering minstrel?
I can honestly interject that i have no clue where a patient, as ill as she was, was getting popsicles from. Im baffled.
I have Brain disease again (aka CJ, mentioned in a previous post), so there is not much to report. Here are several highlights of the evening
- Ol CJ attempted to eat my dinner. Not funny guy. I know your sick but im making minimum wage. Youre food is free guy. Free. Eventually i fed him crackers and peanut butter (i helped him eat them).
- A male nurse who looked like a cross between one of my old bosses and Malcolm McDowell. He made several bags of popcorn and absolutely insisted that everyone must have some. This of course was one of his many nitpickings. I honestly believe that he wasnt gay either although ALOT of signs pointed to yes.
-During my second break I watched a tv program about people that wanted to look like Barbie and altered their bodies to do so.
- I saw a visitors wig that reminded me of my 2003 New Years spent in Toronto. We had spent much of it at the Dance Cave (i was not in the know, as i currently am, god im so cool now) for some sort of Mod night. Our boy Fraze was in fine form and had made out with several ladies on teh dance floor and had disappeared. We decided we had had enough (they stopped serving) and headed back to his. Of course we didnt have keys to get into his building or his apartment. Sweet. Somehow we managed to get in through a fire escape. As it was late we decided to sleep in the hall thinking he would return soon. Wrong. Not long after the drunken slumber began we were woken by his neighbour or at very least his neighbours guest. A particularly tall and broad transvestite.
I can smell it like it was yesterday. She had a strange scent of a sweet sweet perfume mixed in with some sort curry spice (hijra anyone?). Startled I began to attempt to explain that we were there with legitimately and with legal intentions. Sympathetic to our plight, the kind soul brought us some pillows with which we could rest our heavy heads. We were woken by our friend in teh early morn, with Rob not remembering the incident at all.
Perhaps it never happened?
Regardless we were kind enough to return the pillows with a letter letter of thanks.
THANKS AGAIN PRETTY LADY, WHERE EVER YOU ARE! (prob in TO)
In her honor i have posted some Sylvester and several other like minded artists (ive played out Antony in this blog).
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Lazy Prick
yep ive been one.
Its been a busy month for the football and im off to NY on vacation on friday for a couple of days. Not to worry there will be more nonsense soon enough.
Also my sister gave me her old notebook with her entries so once im all dried up i can try and write from her point of view. That is going to be awkward.
Note that i posted an Antony and the Johnsons song.
Another man whos tried to sing like a lady (rather successfully i might add).
I also posted a Hercules and love affair song with Antony singing because i intend on going to alot of bathhouse discos in NY (they are fucking awesome arent they...how ambiguous is that?!?!?! "Is he talking about the bathhouse discos or Hercules and Love Affair?!?!?!")
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Its been a busy month for the football and im off to NY on vacation on friday for a couple of days. Not to worry there will be more nonsense soon enough.
Also my sister gave me her old notebook with her entries so once im all dried up i can try and write from her point of view. That is going to be awkward.
Note that i posted an Antony and the Johnsons song.
Another man whos tried to sing like a lady (rather successfully i might add).
I also posted a Hercules and love affair song with Antony singing because i intend on going to alot of bathhouse discos in NY (they are fucking awesome arent they...how ambiguous is that?!?!?! "Is he talking about the bathhouse discos or Hercules and Love Affair?!?!?!")
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Thursday, July 10, 2008
JC
I have yet to decide whether I am a callous, judgemental hypocrite or an amazingly great judge of character.
My patient today has remainded unconcious for most of my shift allowing me to ro redirect my attention to his roommate, our polish friend (from here on in known as the His Royal Polishness) and my Phillip K Dick novel.
I have had several interesting conversations with his regalness about politics. However, I have to admit that his heavy accent and habit of mumbling has made things difficult at times. In fact, im not sure if at one point he was praising or slagging off jewish business men. (Side note: It must be said that Poland, was/is particularly anti-semitic, therefore i would bank on the latter of the two).
Periodically my patient awakens to scream a stream of cursewords and passout. HRP imitates these curses with additional moans and we both look at each other and laugh.
Having gone for my break, I hope for quiet time with 'Weird Homes'. Sadly it resulted in the an understanding that the majority of my coworkers are made up of the dregs of society.
This woman first tells me of her bestfriend who is a 91 year old woman who was beatn up by her alcoholic son.
I had little in response to this.
This was followed up with a moral tirade about how the youth of today (2003 or 4, i forget) are lost in drugs, alcohol and sex. Admitting this was certainly true for myself, she then moved on to a history of her personal relationships.
The highlight being that her current husband (11 years her junior) lives with his mother, while she lives in a small apartment.
OBVIOUSLY curious i had to ask 'Why is this the arrangement?"
I then learned that it is her second marriage and his 4TH!!!!.
In order for her not to be a hypocrite she had to marry the man she was having sex with.
CeePee's diagnosis:
Loonie.
Call me crazy, but at least im not deluding myself when i enjoy(ed) drugs, alcohol and sex for what they are, rather then trying to mask them like our friends...
Thank god my break ended at some point so i could escape this vile woman.
I returned to the room to take in the sight of HRP's doting lady friend. Dont get me wrong, hes a nice guy, charming even, in that crazy grandpa kind of way. Yet he has this lady who answers to his every beck and call. Bringing him toast and tea, puttin gup with his sexist (and hilarious) comments. Im wondering if this old man is a millionaire or summat cause all shes asked for so far was dinner once he gets out.
Perhaps she doesnt know how to feed herself?
I will finish this story off on a happy note.
I saw Speedracer in his wheelchair again. Im in the same ward (just down the hall this time) and goddammit dont i just wanna put him in a box and keep him to myself.
My patient today has remainded unconcious for most of my shift allowing me to ro redirect my attention to his roommate, our polish friend (from here on in known as the His Royal Polishness) and my Phillip K Dick novel.
I have had several interesting conversations with his regalness about politics. However, I have to admit that his heavy accent and habit of mumbling has made things difficult at times. In fact, im not sure if at one point he was praising or slagging off jewish business men. (Side note: It must be said that Poland, was/is particularly anti-semitic, therefore i would bank on the latter of the two).
Periodically my patient awakens to scream a stream of cursewords and passout. HRP imitates these curses with additional moans and we both look at each other and laugh.
Having gone for my break, I hope for quiet time with 'Weird Homes'. Sadly it resulted in the an understanding that the majority of my coworkers are made up of the dregs of society.
This woman first tells me of her bestfriend who is a 91 year old woman who was beatn up by her alcoholic son.
I had little in response to this.
This was followed up with a moral tirade about how the youth of today (2003 or 4, i forget) are lost in drugs, alcohol and sex. Admitting this was certainly true for myself, she then moved on to a history of her personal relationships.
The highlight being that her current husband (11 years her junior) lives with his mother, while she lives in a small apartment.
OBVIOUSLY curious i had to ask 'Why is this the arrangement?"
I then learned that it is her second marriage and his 4TH!!!!.
In order for her not to be a hypocrite she had to marry the man she was having sex with.
CeePee's diagnosis:
Loonie.
Call me crazy, but at least im not deluding myself when i enjoy(ed) drugs, alcohol and sex for what they are, rather then trying to mask them like our friends...
Thank god my break ended at some point so i could escape this vile woman.
I returned to the room to take in the sight of HRP's doting lady friend. Dont get me wrong, hes a nice guy, charming even, in that crazy grandpa kind of way. Yet he has this lady who answers to his every beck and call. Bringing him toast and tea, puttin gup with his sexist (and hilarious) comments. Im wondering if this old man is a millionaire or summat cause all shes asked for so far was dinner once he gets out.
Perhaps she doesnt know how to feed herself?
I will finish this story off on a happy note.
I saw Speedracer in his wheelchair again. Im in the same ward (just down the hall this time) and goddammit dont i just wanna put him in a box and keep him to myself.
Monday, July 07, 2008
CJ
Gotta say this guy was pretty uninspiring as far as patients (let alone patients with brain injuries) were concerned. I had this guy several times and he would vary from shift to shift. Sometimes he was docile (and relatively vegetable like) plodding along the hallways slowly. Other times he was like George from Of mice and men (minus the talking and plus teh super strength and anger). Apparently he had a brain infection and had a loss of short term memory. Id argue that i was more severe then that. Granted he didnt have the outward appearance of an academic but he certainly was short on words (said a bare minimum) and had a vapid look in his eye that was only made worse with the regular drooling.
He did however maintain a healthy appetite. He could fucking eat.
Admittedly this post is less about the patient i was caring for then about another patient i encountered that night.
CJ wouldnt usually last too long and as a result he'd go to bed and id have the majority of the evening to myself to read whatever book i had at the moment as well as contemplate what was wrong with my stomach (it was about this time that h. pylori started growing in my stomach. Its horrible. If you even sorta think you have it, get it sorted.).
In most situations youd read for hours on end and maybe talk to the nurses, some of which were fascinating others were just downright sweethearts. Once in a while this routine would be broken. And lucky for me, it was one of those nights.
Close to the end of my shift, it would have been about 5 or 6 in the morning (as mentioned in the intro post, it was an 8 to 8 shift), i was slowly getting sleepier and sleepier. I heard a noise down the hall, however in my sleepy haze and the darkened hallway it was too tough to see.
It approached at a great speed considering the time of day, the size of the moving object.
As it approached, en lieu of getting bigger, he seemed to stay the same size.
Shriveled.
The shriveled man had huge glasses like Uncle Junior or Bubbles and a hat stolen from caddyshack.
He had a giant grin on his face and looked both happy to see me and to be alive. He nodded and asked how my day was (which was more or less over and uneventful) and I asked him how his was (which was just starting). He then excused himself and raced off top speed with his tiny toothpick legs dangling away. All the while leaning forward in an adventurous manner, as if he was a dog that had just been released from being kenneled all night.
GO SPEED RACER, GO!
SeeqPod - Playable Search
He did however maintain a healthy appetite. He could fucking eat.
Admittedly this post is less about the patient i was caring for then about another patient i encountered that night.
CJ wouldnt usually last too long and as a result he'd go to bed and id have the majority of the evening to myself to read whatever book i had at the moment as well as contemplate what was wrong with my stomach (it was about this time that h. pylori started growing in my stomach. Its horrible. If you even sorta think you have it, get it sorted.).
In most situations youd read for hours on end and maybe talk to the nurses, some of which were fascinating others were just downright sweethearts. Once in a while this routine would be broken. And lucky for me, it was one of those nights.
Close to the end of my shift, it would have been about 5 or 6 in the morning (as mentioned in the intro post, it was an 8 to 8 shift), i was slowly getting sleepier and sleepier. I heard a noise down the hall, however in my sleepy haze and the darkened hallway it was too tough to see.
It approached at a great speed considering the time of day, the size of the moving object.
As it approached, en lieu of getting bigger, he seemed to stay the same size.
Shriveled.
The shriveled man had huge glasses like Uncle Junior or Bubbles and a hat stolen from caddyshack.
He had a giant grin on his face and looked both happy to see me and to be alive. He nodded and asked how my day was (which was more or less over and uneventful) and I asked him how his was (which was just starting). He then excused himself and raced off top speed with his tiny toothpick legs dangling away. All the while leaning forward in an adventurous manner, as if he was a dog that had just been released from being kenneled all night.
GO SPEED RACER, GO!
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Scotch (aka The Major)
I remember this guy quite vividly. Mostly because he had a tracheotomy and a thick weegie accent. It was a confusing combination.
He was bed stricken and youd have to push down on his trache to hear whatever he said. I have to admit i still now take a certain pride in the fact that i can understand what he said then. The old boy was OLD. Old as dirt. As old as Jaysis and he had some fascinating stories.
Admittedly none of them were even remotely happy.
Is anyone surprised?
Hes from Scotland.
Oh ive attempted to add some scottish bands to add to the atmosphere.
Perfect no?
Went through a huge faze where this was all id listen to.
Didnt do much research, just grabbed some favorites that i remembered.
Regardless, his stories varied greatly from living (and surviving) in Glasgow, which was at one point one of the most violent cities on earth (see: glasgow smile). But was by far the most interesting was his stories about the Second World War and the creation of Israel. He campaigned in both.
In Israel there were no maps of the middle east. Just after the war, the countries which had had vested interests in whichever country (example France had Lebanon, the UN had Palestine) began to draw borders (some of this accounts for contemporary political issues). As a result, they had to refer to the bible to understand where they were. This was no joke. One can believe it. Up until as recent as the 60s and 70s a significant amount of people in the middle east were nomadic tribes that had little contact with westerners. Why would westerners want to be in there anyways? What could the desert offer?
One can only imagine the added pressure of "shooting at things they didnt understand" (his words) to being at the edge of the world. This of course was after they had help release people from concentration camps. Dude was tough, his voice would tremble as he could barely describe the attrocities he saw. It would break your heart as you know the only other people this guy could have talked to about this were the people that were there with him. Even the boys at the legion had their own experiences and you didnt want to diminish others for what they had seen. No wonder he loved cheap scotch (i kid you not, he said as much, the expensive stuff wasnt worth it. Talk about stereotypes).
As rough as the old bugger seemed (which was always only momentary as he was so open and accepting of the things he saw in his lifetime), he sure as fuck hadnt lost his sense of humor. Outside of this guy being basically what i wanted to be when i turned old, he was funny as all fuck. We watched a ton of tv and his comments were none stop.
Ill be damned if i can remember what we were watching but it involved a family that had a pet raccoon. As the one child was petting and coddling the animal he looked at me and said "I bet he'd bite you before the day was over". Not long after this he called a rabbit from a blockbuster commercial a 'fucking cunt'. Not sure if it was because he was a shit gimmick (he was) or cuz he was a rabbit. Either way it was amazing and has led to me using the word 'cunt' casually.
Also he mentioned his wife is 300 pounds.
God he was a great man.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Defo going to do more of this in the future.
He was bed stricken and youd have to push down on his trache to hear whatever he said. I have to admit i still now take a certain pride in the fact that i can understand what he said then. The old boy was OLD. Old as dirt. As old as Jaysis and he had some fascinating stories.
Admittedly none of them were even remotely happy.
Is anyone surprised?
Hes from Scotland.
Oh ive attempted to add some scottish bands to add to the atmosphere.
Perfect no?
Went through a huge faze where this was all id listen to.
Didnt do much research, just grabbed some favorites that i remembered.
Regardless, his stories varied greatly from living (and surviving) in Glasgow, which was at one point one of the most violent cities on earth (see: glasgow smile). But was by far the most interesting was his stories about the Second World War and the creation of Israel. He campaigned in both.
In Israel there were no maps of the middle east. Just after the war, the countries which had had vested interests in whichever country (example France had Lebanon, the UN had Palestine) began to draw borders (some of this accounts for contemporary political issues). As a result, they had to refer to the bible to understand where they were. This was no joke. One can believe it. Up until as recent as the 60s and 70s a significant amount of people in the middle east were nomadic tribes that had little contact with westerners. Why would westerners want to be in there anyways? What could the desert offer?
One can only imagine the added pressure of "shooting at things they didnt understand" (his words) to being at the edge of the world. This of course was after they had help release people from concentration camps. Dude was tough, his voice would tremble as he could barely describe the attrocities he saw. It would break your heart as you know the only other people this guy could have talked to about this were the people that were there with him. Even the boys at the legion had their own experiences and you didnt want to diminish others for what they had seen. No wonder he loved cheap scotch (i kid you not, he said as much, the expensive stuff wasnt worth it. Talk about stereotypes).
As rough as the old bugger seemed (which was always only momentary as he was so open and accepting of the things he saw in his lifetime), he sure as fuck hadnt lost his sense of humor. Outside of this guy being basically what i wanted to be when i turned old, he was funny as all fuck. We watched a ton of tv and his comments were none stop.
Ill be damned if i can remember what we were watching but it involved a family that had a pet raccoon. As the one child was petting and coddling the animal he looked at me and said "I bet he'd bite you before the day was over". Not long after this he called a rabbit from a blockbuster commercial a 'fucking cunt'. Not sure if it was because he was a shit gimmick (he was) or cuz he was a rabbit. Either way it was amazing and has led to me using the word 'cunt' casually.
Also he mentioned his wife is 300 pounds.
God he was a great man.
SeeqPod - Playable Search
Defo going to do more of this in the future.
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