Judging both my notes and memories mustaches seem to be quite popular amongst those born in the 1920's and 1930's. Granted the women at that age cant really help it (lack of estrogen you see).
From what ive written here in my notebook it would seem that WS was quite a treat. For the most part he remained quite still and content as the nurses seem to have fed him enough pills to sedate a small elephant (or kill a small dog, your choice really, you sick fuck). This, as mentioned previously only really results in one of two manners.
The first being the most preferred, spending the rest of the 11 or so hours watching television (particularly A&E, they have American Justice with Bill Kurtis), eating the patients dinners (he doesnt want them, hes nearly comatose and the nurse said you can have it) and reading your big book on Nazis.
The second being far from preferred but the most likely to occur. In the second situation the patient will take turns tugging at his tubes (whether feeding, breathing or peeing) and giving him self induced panic attacks in which his heart rate speeds up so much that the nurses are in every 10 or so minutes to make sure he doesnt kick the bucket. If in fact the panic attacks dont kill him, the nurses surely will. As a result you will have to hold his hand, calmly stroke it and tell him that it really will be ok (although even the medical professionals at this point in time highly doubt that is true).
Ideally the fits wont last too far into the night and at about 4am or so he will slowly close his eyes, grin, gurgle and not die. Sleep tight precious angel.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
DF
So far throughout my entries my patients have seemed harmless or amusing. I spose even for the most part i havent really painted much of a picture with these brief stories.
Fair enough, i havent really got to the juicy bits of my hospital escapades. Let alone come upon entries with great detail.
Regardless there were moments in which the patients themselves were particularly difficult to sympathize with. Most often these moments would occur early in the morning with a relatively detestable patient. Please note that often these people are not sound of mind; whether a reaction to head trauma or medication. However after 10 or so hours with these people; constantly guiding their hands away from their tubes (as they try to pull them out), dealing with their squawking voices (or lack their of, spose grunts might be a more appropriate description), and even being hit (granted its by a weakened bedridden patient), ones patience is tested.
Without a doubt one such patient who was such a test (and an introduction to this type of shift) was the gentlemen known as DF.
Immediately one thing i must note is the fact that the first bullet i have written down is the fact that he loved to kick and punch me. Admittedly this was always from a position in which the patient was lying back (and most most likely tied down, im not kidding) as well as in a weakened state. None the less, its not quite the introduction one would hope to have with a person that one is going to be spending 12 hours with.
Often the fact that he was tied down would seem to be a source of agony. His granddaughter came to visit for a short bit and most of the time was spent listening to him egg us on. It came to the point that he was almost begging us to laugh at him.
Now, I, like most people im sure, have seen close family members in various states of sickness. I have to admit that at this point i felt worse for the granddaughter than for the actual patient. Not only is the poor girl having to deal with her grandfather (who, im assuming has been put on a pedestal, as most grandparents are when in healthy relationships with their grand children) in his sickness, she now has to see the full extent of its effects.
To only endear the reader more with the patient will now provided the only other two bullets i had written.
- He keeps licking his lips like a child molester would at his prey (obviously overdramatic, but to a certain extent truthful). I do recall him regularly licking his lips, in fact it was common for alot patients to have quite a few repetitive habits. For instance my sister and ex at the time had both taken care of a female patient in the psyche ward. Whatever illness she had caused her to a) regularly drink water (when i say water, i mean quarts and quarts of water to the point that if it wasnt regulated, she would drown herself) and b) smear vaseline all over herself (which made for a mess in obvious and non-obvious ways, thats right, ewww). I wont go into detail but it involved poop (dont worry, not alot, regardless nasty) and menstrual fluid (also not alot, but still nasty).
- 'Cold dead eyes that stare at me from the dark. The hospital is creepy enough, reminds me alot of Lady Lazarus'. It also doesnt help that im reading about a serial killer in New Hampshire.'
I like how i snuck Lady Lazarus in there. Makes me sound educated doesnt it? I think i read it once in some uni english class. Christ i was pretentious then. Granted i still am now, but i realize it. Doesnt help that i would have minored in film if i could have. At least i wasnt a philosophy student. Blech.
Just so you know, im not particularly happy with this post. It does need to be printed for sake of consistency as well as it never hurts to practice writing. None the less, its hardly my finest of the lot. Now if you'll excuse me, im going to watch Rambo 4.
Fair enough, i havent really got to the juicy bits of my hospital escapades. Let alone come upon entries with great detail.
Regardless there were moments in which the patients themselves were particularly difficult to sympathize with. Most often these moments would occur early in the morning with a relatively detestable patient. Please note that often these people are not sound of mind; whether a reaction to head trauma or medication. However after 10 or so hours with these people; constantly guiding their hands away from their tubes (as they try to pull them out), dealing with their squawking voices (or lack their of, spose grunts might be a more appropriate description), and even being hit (granted its by a weakened bedridden patient), ones patience is tested.
Without a doubt one such patient who was such a test (and an introduction to this type of shift) was the gentlemen known as DF.
Immediately one thing i must note is the fact that the first bullet i have written down is the fact that he loved to kick and punch me. Admittedly this was always from a position in which the patient was lying back (and most most likely tied down, im not kidding) as well as in a weakened state. None the less, its not quite the introduction one would hope to have with a person that one is going to be spending 12 hours with.
Often the fact that he was tied down would seem to be a source of agony. His granddaughter came to visit for a short bit and most of the time was spent listening to him egg us on. It came to the point that he was almost begging us to laugh at him.
Now, I, like most people im sure, have seen close family members in various states of sickness. I have to admit that at this point i felt worse for the granddaughter than for the actual patient. Not only is the poor girl having to deal with her grandfather (who, im assuming has been put on a pedestal, as most grandparents are when in healthy relationships with their grand children) in his sickness, she now has to see the full extent of its effects.
To only endear the reader more with the patient will now provided the only other two bullets i had written.
- He keeps licking his lips like a child molester would at his prey (obviously overdramatic, but to a certain extent truthful). I do recall him regularly licking his lips, in fact it was common for alot patients to have quite a few repetitive habits. For instance my sister and ex at the time had both taken care of a female patient in the psyche ward. Whatever illness she had caused her to a) regularly drink water (when i say water, i mean quarts and quarts of water to the point that if it wasnt regulated, she would drown herself) and b) smear vaseline all over herself (which made for a mess in obvious and non-obvious ways, thats right, ewww). I wont go into detail but it involved poop (dont worry, not alot, regardless nasty) and menstrual fluid (also not alot, but still nasty).
- 'Cold dead eyes that stare at me from the dark. The hospital is creepy enough, reminds me alot of Lady Lazarus'. It also doesnt help that im reading about a serial killer in New Hampshire.'
I like how i snuck Lady Lazarus in there. Makes me sound educated doesnt it? I think i read it once in some uni english class. Christ i was pretentious then. Granted i still am now, but i realize it. Doesnt help that i would have minored in film if i could have. At least i wasnt a philosophy student. Blech.
Just so you know, im not particularly happy with this post. It does need to be printed for sake of consistency as well as it never hurts to practice writing. None the less, its hardly my finest of the lot. Now if you'll excuse me, im going to watch Rambo 4.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
JR
Oh my god im pissed. Tuesdays is my day to wake up early, go to work for 8 hours then go to school for another 3. Its fucking exhausting and i usually lose interest into about 1/3 of the day. Im particularly pissed as my alarm went off and I woke up an hour earlier then i was supposed to. This means i woke up at fucking 5.30am. Useless. Its not even like i can do anything at this point in the bloody morning. Really not cool. I at least wish i had some orange juice.
Even tho its early in the morn i do remember the following character JR. There are several reasons for this. He had the same name as a czech footballer (he was polish though, this was verified immediately), he was openly distainful of women (although he had been married and had a daughter, or so he claims) and he seemed to have a fear of soap (or at least smelt like he had a fear of soap).
Outside his misogny (and foul smell) he really was a quite pleasant man. He had been an architect in both the iron block and in Halifax at the time and had helped design one of the cities universities. I took great interest in his old time experiences in Communist Poland and he was all too happy to oblige. Oh lord how he loved Russia and he still considered them a world power.
Its at this point that I will write a sidenote but in the middle of this piece.
If im not mistaken at the time (2003) that this was written Russia was still undergoing some significant changes. Granted Putin was in power and the oligarchs had already raided the government for its goods but Russia was not quite butting heads with Western and Eastern countries, particularly the US, as it is today. As a result I had written the following, which at the time wasnt too far off (and to a certain extent still isnt).
"Maybe my North American Upper Middle Class mind has been poisoned against Russia's current glories? No, they are still fucked"
Since then Putin has been nominated as Person of the year by Time (granted so was Hitler, Stalin and Chang Kai Shek, even then that means something), their economy has boomed significantly, Russia has started to meddle with the likes of Ukraine and Georgia's (the country, not state) national elections, theyve been accused of sending spies to England and poisoning Politicians and expats. Regardless the country has become a world power (once again) along side China. That didnt take very long did it?
It should be noted that the dialogue between him and his roomate was like something out of a sitcom. She too was a lovely little thing probably bordering on the age of 107. In between the bickering she let it be known that I was allowed to read her National Enquirers and Weekly World News, which i was all to glad to do. The fact that she had called them smut made it very hard to resist.
Ech, i apologize if this post is a bit more scattered then usual, im really tired and have to go to work now. Blech, what a long day this is going to be.
Oh yeah, also this.
Even tho its early in the morn i do remember the following character JR. There are several reasons for this. He had the same name as a czech footballer (he was polish though, this was verified immediately), he was openly distainful of women (although he had been married and had a daughter, or so he claims) and he seemed to have a fear of soap (or at least smelt like he had a fear of soap).
Outside his misogny (and foul smell) he really was a quite pleasant man. He had been an architect in both the iron block and in Halifax at the time and had helped design one of the cities universities. I took great interest in his old time experiences in Communist Poland and he was all too happy to oblige. Oh lord how he loved Russia and he still considered them a world power.
Its at this point that I will write a sidenote but in the middle of this piece.
If im not mistaken at the time (2003) that this was written Russia was still undergoing some significant changes. Granted Putin was in power and the oligarchs had already raided the government for its goods but Russia was not quite butting heads with Western and Eastern countries, particularly the US, as it is today. As a result I had written the following, which at the time wasnt too far off (and to a certain extent still isnt).
"Maybe my North American Upper Middle Class mind has been poisoned against Russia's current glories? No, they are still fucked"
Since then Putin has been nominated as Person of the year by Time (granted so was Hitler, Stalin and Chang Kai Shek, even then that means something), their economy has boomed significantly, Russia has started to meddle with the likes of Ukraine and Georgia's (the country, not state) national elections, theyve been accused of sending spies to England and poisoning Politicians and expats. Regardless the country has become a world power (once again) along side China. That didnt take very long did it?
It should be noted that the dialogue between him and his roomate was like something out of a sitcom. She too was a lovely little thing probably bordering on the age of 107. In between the bickering she let it be known that I was allowed to read her National Enquirers and Weekly World News, which i was all to glad to do. The fact that she had called them smut made it very hard to resist.
Ech, i apologize if this post is a bit more scattered then usual, im really tired and have to go to work now. Blech, what a long day this is going to be.
Oh yeah, also this.
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